Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Silver linings

There's a lot to feel anxious about at the moment. My daily read through some of the headlines on the BBC news site is an important part of the day, because I want to stay informed, but it's also something I need to psyche myself up for: it leaves me feeling depressed and worried and I generally need to follow it up with a can of beer and something mindless and distracting on the TV.

I don't know about you, though, but I also have moments throughout the day when I feel optimistic, encouraged, even quite positive about everything that's going on at the moment. There have been a few articles and comments doing the rounds that have encouraged us to try and look on the brighter side of life during these present troubles, and whilst mine will certainly add nothing revolutionary or radical to the mix, it will serve as a useful reminder (to me at least) that for every cloud...yeah, that.

The impact on the environment 
There are encouraging reports around the world of significant drops in air pollution, reductions in harmful gases going into the environment and the residents of Venice seeing fish in their canals for the first time in generations. A vast reduction in vehicles on the roads and planes in the sky will hopefully give our exhausted planet the vacation it needs from the harmful things that we inflict on it. I bet wildlife all over the world is loving it too: I feel quite emotional when I see the birds, bees and plants being able to get on with their lives without having to survive the usual swarm of humans all around them.

Exercise
Being told that I can only exercise once a day has made me, for the first time in at least twenty five years, exercise once a day. My ambition to emerge from this lockdown with a physique like Anthony Joshua is almost certainly misguided. I might just, however, be a fitter and healthier version of myself.

Keeping your friends close 
For the first time in years, I'm making a deliberate and regular effort to call friends and family. I'm usually rubbish at doing this: I hate talking on the phone, my life gets all too easily consumed by the 'here and now', and I take the people who are closest to me for granted, assuming that they'll always be there and that "I can always call them tomorrow." Now, though, I hate the fact that they I can't see them or that they might be sick or lonely. I love these people. Coronavirus has helped me to actually do something about it.

Gratitiude for my job 
It saddens me that I no longer get to see the class of children whose year with me was so abruptly halted. It saddens me that I can't go to work and do the job that I have grown to love. I'm also enormously grateful that I do a job which makes a real difference to people's lives, and I thank God that I have a salary which has so far been protected throughout this crisis. And I pray that He will watch over and provide for those who are less fortunate.

Gratitude for my family 
There have been moments when my wife and son have driven me to distraction over the past couple of weeks, and there will be many more such moments. I also wouldn't be without them right now for anything in the world. I appreciate their personalities, temperaments, strengths and skills a whole lot more as we spend each day supporting each other through this period of lockdown. I'll try to remember all of this when life gets back to normal.

A new appreciation for others 
It goes without saying how much admiration we all have for the medics, scientists and emergency services who are on the front line and working tirelessly to keep us safe. But how much respect did we previously give to cleaners, supermarket workers and delivery drivers? When we eventually beat this thing, their contribution will have been as important as anyone's. If this virus teaches us to be a bit less snooty and a bit more appreciative of those who do these jobs, then it will have done all of us a great service.

Ubuntu 
I came across this South African word the other day. It means 'I am because of you'. Or, as Simba sings to his daughter Kiara in The Lion King 2, "We are more than we are, We are One." So much of the hostility, vitriol and hatred that we've seen in recent years seems to spring from an individualistic mentality: to hell with the rest of you, I'm only looking out for myself/my family/my tribe. It's an insidious and poisonous ideology. Christianity has been teaching us for over two thousand years to love our neighbour, whoever he or she might be. Not because I want to make some noble act of sacrifice that will diminish me and enhance someone else, but because I can only ever be as prosperous, happy and healthy as I seek to make others. We're all making sacrifices at the moment for the benefit of other people. If we can carry on doing so after all of this has come to pass, then we'll have made a better world for everyone.          

  

Friday, March 27, 2020

Help the Aged

I'm trying to look after my elderly neighbours. Mostly because it's the right thing to do, and because they'll have made sacrifices in their past that I've benefited from.

Partly, however, because doing so can be a very amusing experience: I've changed names and home numbers to protect my brilliant neighbours.

Conversation with number 44: 

"Hello?"

"Hello, it's Joe at number 38."

"Who?"

"Joe. At number 38. Claire's husband?"

"I thought they sold and packed up years ago!"

"Err...no. Still here."

"Hold on a minute (shuffles off, conversation overheard with wife) "Gladys, it's Joe. Didn't they sell up years ago?" 

"No, I spoke to her last week!" 

"Oh never mind. (Back to me) Hello?"

"Yes, hello."

"You're right, it is Joe!"

"Yes...yes...I am. Anyway, how are you keeping?"

"Fine thank you. Absolutely fine."

"That's great. We were just wondering if you needed anything from the supermarket?"

"Did I speak to your wife at the bus stop the other day?"

"Err...possibly."

"Only someone started talking to me at the bus stop. She was very friendly but I didn't know who she was!"

"Right..."

"She was standing outside the front door to number 38."

"Okay...probably Claire then. I hope so anyway."

"Do apologise to her for me won't you!"

"I will. Anyway, do you need any shopping?"

"Hold on  (shuffles off again)    Gladys, do we need anything?" 

"Milk. Whole milk. Four pints please." 

"Okay  (back to me)  Four pints of whole milk please, Joe."

"No problem at all. Anything else?"

"No that's all. Very kind of you!"

"Absolutely fine. I'll leave it in your porch."

"Are you sure you didn't move?"

"No, definitely not. Been here eight years now."

"Well I never. Bye Joe."

"Goodbye, take care."



Conversation with number 42 

(Dorothy is in her 80s. Lovely lady, fantastic neighbour. Also a bit hard of hearing.) 

"HELLO?"

"Hi Dorothy, it's Joe from next door. I was just wondering..."

"NOW LISTEN. YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING ON HOLIDAY ANY MORE ARE YOU?"

"Err...probably not, no."

"ONLY IF YOU WERE I'D BE VERY HAPPY TO LOOK AFTER THE CAT AGAIN."

"Thank you Dorothy, that's really kind, but I'm pretty sure that we won't..."

"IT'S NO TROUBLE!"

"I know Dorothy, I don't know what we'd do without you, you've always..."

"I LOVE YOUR CAT!"

"Yes, I know. Far more than I do."

"SORRY??"

"Nothing, anyway Dorothy, the reason I called was..."

"HAVE YOU SEEN THAT SQUIRREL??"

"What?"

"THERE'S A SQUIRREL HOPPING AROUND IN THE GARDEN! IT'S EVER SO CUTE!"

"I did see it yes."

"I LOVE SQUIRRELS!"

"Yes, they're quite nice aren't they."

"I LOVE ALL ANIMALS!"

"Yes, me too...well, sometimes...anyway, Dorothy, do you need any shopping?"

"SORRY?"

"SHOPPING DOROTHY. DO YOU NEED ANYTHING FROM THE SUPERMARKET?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME GO AND GET ARTHUR. I CAN'T REALLY HEAR YOU!"




Shopping was - eventually - safely delivered to both houses. Absolute legends, both of them. If I'm still around in 2065, I hope I'm as fun and full of life as they are!

Monday, March 23, 2020

What albums can teach us

Some of the most iconic album covers of the past few decades can teach us all we need to know about responsible behaviour during the Coronavirus crisis.





Very irresponsible. Social distancing should be observed at all times.

















This is just ridiculous. You may as well be at a Trump press conference.

















Much better gentlemen, well done. A great idea to use the stripes on a zebra crossing to help keep two metres apart.












Well done boys, all staying at home. You might just want to check that Liam isn't dead.

















Absolutely not. We shouldn't be trying to lick each other at the present time, even if your tongue is so severely deformed.

















Don't be fooled. It's very unlikely that she'd be examining you if you were to get sick.

















Parents, I know that you want to do the best job that you can with home-schooling but please leave swimming lessons to the professionals. Also, there are less dramatic ways of teaching them about money.