General Election Reflections - 27th May

 1. I reckon Rishi lost a bet last week. I can't think why else the election would have been called quite so suddenly, seemingly catching most of his inner circle by surprise. Either that or a lunchtime drinking game with Oliver Dowden got out of hand (champagne for Oliver, probably a strong Ribena for Rishi. Teetotal don't you know), and in a sugar-induced state of reckless abandon he decided to go for it. 

"Get the podium Ollie, I'm calling it!" 

"Hmmm...never a good idea to do a press conference when you've been on the juice Rish. Your voice gets squeakier." 

"Sod that it'll be a laugh! July 4th, we're gonna do this thing!" 

"Independence Day in America? You think the voters will like it coinciding with another country's national holiday?" 

"Well the Trump fans will love it, and they're basically our people." 

"It's also pissing it down mate." 

"Yeah I know! It'll make me look hard!" 

"Rishi you look like many things, but hard isn't ...damn it, he's gone." 

2. Since Friday, he's come down from the sugar high and has hit the campaign trail hard. He seems to be doing it by himself, though. I actually feel a bit sorry for him. Whether it's pulling a pint (that he doesn't drink) or having a wander on the Belfast docks, I'm wondering where all his mates are. Maybe they're in a strop with him for not telling them he was going to call the election. Maybe it was all so unexpected that they haven't been able to change plans. Either way, he's ploughing a lonely furrow at present. One of my Year 6s was confused the other week when I spoke about the Prime Minister's cabinet, and I had to explain to him that it wasn't the type of cabinet he was thinking of, and that Mr Sunak doesn't, in fact, sit in his office talking to his furniture. Tragically, it seems like that might be exactly what he is doing at present. 

3. I listened to Keir Starmer on Radio 4 this week. I do think the guy needs to be a bit more gutsy and brave. The caution and hesitancy is understandable for now; all the polls suggest it's his to lose, and he's desperate not to say anything that the Tories and their buddies in the press will seize upon and beat him around the head with. Once he gets into his stride, however, he needs to try and sound a bit less jittery at the prospect of leading the country. 

4. Michael Gove is standing down. He who inflicted damage first on the education of the nation's children, then on the nation as a whole when he played a leading role in the Brexit campaign. When I first heard this news, it reminded me of the classic romantic scene between Leslie Nielsen and his love interest in Naked Gun 2: 

"Sam, play our special song. One more time." 

"Right you are Miss...Ding! Dong! The Witch is dead!!"